One Plus One Equals Two
by SuouTamakiLover
Summary: Several separate adventures of the Naruto cast, when they all learn nothing is what it seems in Konoha.
1. Naruto and Kyuubi

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto or the hulk because if we did, Sasuke wouldn't have left and wouldn't be an emo jerk.**

**A/N: There are two of us for those of you who haven't realized that yet...These stories are all individual, by the way. Yeah…**

* * *

Naruto was pacing back and forth across his apartment. He just found out from the Hokage that Kyuubi, was not actually Kyuubi.

"Gasp!" he said, "this is so sudden and such! Why would that_ fox_ be…not the fox?!"

'_**I'd like to know that myself, kit.'**_

"YOU CAN TALK?!" Naruto exclaimed.

'_**Well, I am a superior being, you inferior being!' **_

"Yeah, well…YOUR MOM!"

'…_**Ouch…my mommy abandoned me when I was a baby!' **_Kyuubi replied, through a fountain of Kyuubi--but not actually Kyuubi--tears.

"Hey…what are you, anyways?" Naruto asked, ignoring the Kyuubi's crying, "The Hokage said that you weren't actually a nine-tailed fox…WAIT! I SAW THIS ON TV ONCE! YOU'RE A POKEMON!"

**_'No, you baka, I'm not a Pokemon! …Whatever that means…'_**

"Then…what are you?"

The Kyuubi sighed, _**'I knew this day would come…' **_

"QUIT BEING DRAMATIC AND JUST TELL ME ALREADY! Gosh, don't act like we're about to cut to commercial!"

_We interrupt this program to tell you all that NSync has a new CD out. That's right Konoha! Be sure to pick up a copy of '5+1 equals 6!' Again, that's '5+1 equals 6!' Available in stores now!_

_'**I could sense it coming. I need to get myself a copy of that CD now…bye!'**_

"Technically, you can't leave. And, you have to tell me what you are! _NOW!_"

'Okay, kit, I guess you deserve that much. I am…the…Hulk!'

"…right…and I'm the Easter Bunny!"

**_Dude…I know the Easter Bunny. He's way more of a man than you'll ever be! Even if his tail is, like, a cotton ball…and anyways, I'm not lying.'_ **

"But if you're the Hulk…why do you look like a fox…?"

_'**Well…I get carsick when I see the color green… I wear this costume to get over it…'**_

Naruto glared, "I'm not a car!"

**_Well, with all your ninja running and jumping around all the time, you'd think different. Anyways… Only if you get amazingly angry will you turn into the Hulk…so…yeah…'_ **

"Meh, sounds fair enough…I'm gonna go get some ramen…later my home skillet biscuit!"

**_'W-wait!'_ **

"What is it?!"

**_'Can…can you pick up that CD for me?'_**

Naruto rolled his eyes and nodded his head, "I guess so. But don't play it too loud…that new guy gives me a headache."

Kyuubi nodded, and started jumping around and screaming like a fan girl.

Naruto rolled his eyes again, but then perked up. "I'll ask Sakura-chan out on a date!"

Kyuubi rolled his eyes, _**'This story again…well, good luck, kit.' **_

* * *

Naruto ran as fast as his little ninja legs would carry him.

'_**Carsickness!' **_Kyuubi reminded him.

Naruto slowed his pace, "Right…sorry…"

Kyuubi took in a breath and exhaled slowly, _**'Whatever. Now, go and ask our little Sakura-chan on a date! I can't wait to see this!' **_

Naruto frowned. He just realized… Sakura always turned him down. He found her talking to Sasuke. He ran over to them.

"Sakura-chan! Teme!"

"Naruto…" Sakura greeted.

"Dobe." Sasuke…greeted.

"So…" Naruto began, leaning towards Sakura and flashing his foxy/hulky smile, "Wanna go on a date?"

"NO!" Sakura screamed after her fist collided with his face.

Sasuke snorted, "Dobe."

Naruto suddenly found himself very angry. He started to turn green.

The Kyuubi smacked himself in the forehead, **_'Here we go...'_**

Naruto was now…the HULK!

He was about to crush everyone when a little diddy started going through his head. It went a little something like this…

"_AH! Oh my god, oh my god! AH AH! Oh my god!" _

After hearing that awesome song, Naruto started to calm down and returned to normal. Sakura and Sasuke were speechless.

The Kyuubi yelled in frustration, _**'MAN! I LOVE that song!' **_

Tsunade randomly appeared out of no where, and looked at Naruto with a serious expression on her face.

"The only way to get rid of the Hulk is to climb Mt. Konoha and eat the Staples flower…" She said.

"Staples flower…?" Naruto asked.

She shook head, "You'll find out soon enough. For now…" She pulled out a pink frilly dress, "prance around in this dress!"

Naruto took a step back, "No, thanks…I'd rather not."

Thus, he began his epic quest to climb…Mt. Konoha.

* * *

_Five minutes later…_

Naruto looked at the flower, "Wow, that was easy…so, eat the flower…"

Naruto stuffed the flower he found in his mouth. As he was chewing, he found he was also chewing on something hard. He took it out of his mouth and stared at it. It looked like a button.

"Hmm…" Naruto pushed the button.

"_That was easy!" _Said the button.

"BELIEVE IT! OH. MY. GOD! IT'S THE STAPLES EASY BUTTON!"

It was only then, that Naruto realized that Kyuubi/Hulk was gone. He got down on his knees dramatically.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Upon returning to Konoha, Naruto realized he owed Sasuke something for pushin' up on his woman. He walked around until he found him. Once Naruto saw Sasuke, he punched him in the face and slammed his hand down on the easy button. All of Konoha yelled along with Naruto and the button…

"THAT WAS EASY!"

* * *

**That's the end of that chapter. Short, but good. Well, we think so, what do you think? Please review!**


	2. Sasuke and Nsync

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto or Nsync…haha, Nsync…those were the good ol' days…

* * *

"Justin, we need a new person in our group," A random shadowy figure said.

"No, JC," Justin replied, "and besides, what's wrong with just the five of us?"

The one named JC shrugged, "It seems we're losing popularity. We need something new…_someone_ new…like THAT GUY!"

JC pointed to a random black-haired kid walking down the street.

"LOOK at him, Justin!" JC said, "He practically_ screams_ emo!"

"EMO!!" the kid yelled.

Justin slapped his forehead, "Okay, even if we were to add someone new to out group, how do we know he even has talent?"

JC pointed to the black-haired kid who now had girls crawling all over him.

"That's talented." JC said.

Justin threw his hands up in frustration, "There are still three more people in the group! Not just you and me! How do you know they'll agree with it?!"

JC shrugged, "They're flexible."

Justin sighed, knowing JC wouldn't crack, "Fine. But when this fails, I had nothing to do with it."

JC squealed and clapped his hands. Justin shook his head seriously.

"Dude, no." he said.

JC waved him off and pranced over to the black-haired kid. Justin followed, but kept a safe distance away.

"Kid…" JC said, putting a hand on the black-haired kids shoulder, "how would you like to join Nsync?"

Sasuke had never been more scared in his life.

* * *

"Okay," Chris said to Sasuke, "Have you learned the lyrics?"

"Well," Sasuke clasped his hands together, "considering I just got off of 'Don't Forget the Lyrics, Nsync Edition', I would have to say yes."

"…a simple yes or no would've sufficed."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as JC snickered.

Lance and Joey were playing Crazy Eights.

Justin sighed, "Come on, guys," he said.

They both groaned, "But we both already recorded this song!" they said.

"Too bad," Justin said, "Sasuke'll take my place, and you'll sing with him…GO!"

Chris, Joey, Lance and Sasuke stood in the recording booth. With a nod from JC, Justin started the music. Sasuke began to sing…_very _off tune.

"_You might've been hurt, babe…that ain't no lie...you've seen them all come and go…OHHH…" _

JC shook his head and put his hand near his throat in a cutting motion. Justin nodded, grimaced, and stopped the music. Joey and Lance cheered. Chris sighed. Sasuke looked confused.

"I was singing…" he said.

"Yes…" Justin said, "And that's the problem…"

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows.

"To put this nicely…" Justin began.

"YOU SUCK!" JC cut in.

Lance and Joey waved, "Bye!"

Chris shrugged.

"Yeah? Well I don't need you!" Sasuke yelled, "I'll find another band that appreciates my individuality! YOU'LL SEE! I'M GONNA BE BIGGER THEN MR. T!"

Sasuke then stormed out of the recording studio.

JC shook his head and sighed, "I pity the fool…"

* * *

"So, Sasuke-kun…let me get this straight…" Kabuto said, "You want to join our band?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Well…" Kabuto went on, "Orochimaru-sama is lead vocals and guitar…I'm drums…oh! I have an idea! You can play the tambourine!"

"Okay look here!" Sasuke said, "Just because I'm new doesn't mean you can stick me with a tangerine! THAT'S NOT EVEN AN INSTRUMENT!"

"Tambourine, Sasuke-kun. And that's the best you're going to get."

Sasuke sighed and held out his hand.

* * *

'Little Boys Are Fun' were preparing for their first gig. Orochimaru still hadn't figured everything out. One thing he had figured out, however, is that they would all dress as girls.

Orochimaru held out a pink frilly dress, "What do you think of this one?" he asked. He was acting really preppy.

Sasuke was in a corner hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, "It's all to show them…" he mumbled, "it's all to show them how great I can be…"

* * *

After the show—which Sasuke had barely survived through—they had some people telling them they did good.

"SASUKE!" Itachi sang as he skipped over to Sasuke, one of his arms linked with Kisame's.

Sasuke stood dumbfounded.

"That was great!" Itachi said. Kisame nodded and grinned.

Sasuke couldn't move.

"Next time though," Itachi said, "You should sing a little more…especially when you're friends are watching!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he looked where Itachi pointed. Sitting at one of the tables was Nsync, grinning like mad men.

* * *

Sasuke decided he'd have to kill his brother, because he was the one who invited Nsync.

And two and a half years later, that's exactly what he did.

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**Well…? Review and tell us your thoughts! **


	3. Sakura and the Killer Mutant Bunnies

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto**

* * *

Sakura was taking her usual early evening stroll. This time, however, she found something. At first, she thought it was dead…whatever it was. Sakura grabbed a branch and poked the creature forcefully. The little bundle of grey fur yelped and then bared its teeth at Sakura. It was a rabbit.

"Aww," Sakura exclaimed, even though it looked like it wanted to bite her face off.

She reached out to grab the rabbit. When it hopped away, she then used her ninja speed to pick it up. She smirked in its face.

"Gotcha,"

The rabbit scowled.

"I'm gonna call you Charlie!" Sakura said proudly. It was only then she noticed the rabbit had a name tag. On it was only a name: Bosley.

Sakura shrugged, "I really don't care if your name is Bosley," she said, "Charlie is way better!"

The rabbit glared, _'You know what? No.' _it thought.

"Well, _Charlie_…let's go home!"

Sakura skipped very fast towards her apartment. Bosley a.k.a. Charlie looked scared…_very_ scared.

* * *

Upon arriving at her apartment, Sakura decided 'Charlie' would be hungry. She also decided to cook him something herself with her 'amazing' cooking abilities.

Bosley could only watch from his cage on the counter as Sakura threw many various items into a pot on the stove.

'_Carrots…sandwich…chocolate syrup…fork…she's blending it…oh, wait, she put the blender in…oh my god…I'm dead…' _Bosley thought.

After throwing many more questionable items in the pot, Sakura poured some of the…soup…into a bowl. When she offered it to Bosley, she got a growl in return.

Sakura shrugged, "Okay…" she said, "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way…"

Bosley's eyes widened, _'Hard way?!' _he thought frantically.

Sakura took his mouth with one hand opened it wide. With her other hand, she threw the soup bowl at his mouth.

…some of it went it.

After that was over and done with, Sakura let go of Bosley and nodded; proud of herself.

Bosley was choking, _'STUPID FORK!'_

Sakura watched as Bosley hacked up the fork. She picked it up, shrugged, and put it back in her cutlery drawer. Bosley grimaced.

"Well, I'm off to bed!" Sakura said, "You'll be comfortable in your cage that has no comforting things in it! Ta ta,"

Sakura skipped to her bedroom.

Bosley rolled his little rabbit eyes.

"God," Bosley said, "Who is she to…wait…"

Bosley realized he could talk.

"Hello…hellooooo…HELLO!" he tested out his voice.

Pssht, it was such a rabbit voice.

Bosley shrugged to himself, "Must've been the soup."

The rabbit then suddenly shuddered, as it began to go through an amazing transformation.

* * *

Sakura woke up and stretched.

"Time to check on Charlie!" she said cheerfully.

"…I'M BOSLEY!" Bosley yelled from the living room.

Sakura jumped out of bed, "Shut. Up."

She ran to the living room and saw something that horrified her.

"AHH!" she screamed, "TELETUBBIES!"

And then she saw Bosley.

"AHH!"

Bosley had under gone an amazing transformation. He was now at least five times his size, and was green and purple. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were bulging.

"Ch-Charlie?" Sakura asked.

Bosley roared, "I'M BOSLEY!"

Sakura laughed, "Charlie's more important."

"…WHO IS THIS CHARLIE?! WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HIM!"

Sakura shrugged.

"Well…" Bosley said, "Since you won't listen to me…I'll call upon my friends…GO! TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA BUNNIES!"

The 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' theme song played, but every time the word 'turtles' would come in, it would have a badly shouted 'bunnies' over it.

Soon, almost a hundred teenage mutant ninja bunnies were in Sakura's apartment.

Sakura screamed as the rabbits pounced on her.

* * *

"YEAH!" the rabbits shouted.

Bosley had been removed from his cage a while before, and he was currently sitting on a dead Sakura.

"LET'S EAT HER!" an older rabbit said.

"IT'S ALL THANKS TO CHARLIE!" Bosley's mother said.

"THANKS, CHARLIE!" all of the rabbits yelled.

Bosley threw up his paws in frustration, "I'M BOSLEY!"

* * *

**Yep. Please review! **


	4. Kakashi and the 70's

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. **

**A/N: Uzumaki had to look up a lot of 70's stuff to do this, haha. **

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke stood outside of Sakura's apartment. Naruto knocked on the door.

"Sakura-chan!" he called, "Hurry up!"

Sakura purposefully opened the door so it'd hit Naruto in the face.

"Shut up." she said.

Sasuke snorted, "Dobe."

Naruto held the part of his face that was so swollen, "Why'd you do that?"

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Come on," she said, "We'll be late."

Kakashi was hosting a 'Team 7' party at his apartment. Why the three gennin agreed to this is a mystery. Regardless, they were making their way to their perverted sensei's home.

* * *

Sakura knocked twice on the door. Sasuke and Naruto simply stood there, although Naruto was tapping his foot impatiently.

Kakashi opened the door.

The three twelve-year-olds stood speechless.

Their sensei was wearing a tie-dye shirt. _**Tie-dye! **_

"How's it hanging?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke twitched.

Kakashi gestured for them to come inside. The three slowly stepped in and looked around. There was a disco ball on the ceiling and really bad, old music playing.

"How do you like my pad?" Kakashi asked.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura said slowly.

Sasuke twitched again.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Naruto yelled.

Kakashi waved his hand, "Take a chill pill."

"…a WHAT?!"

Sasuke was now twitching uncontrollably.

"Like my shirt?" Kakashi gestured to his _tie-dye _shirt, "I think its dy–no-mite!"

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled again.

"Man, get off my case!" Kakashi said.

Naruto was scared, "B-but!"

"Are you for real?" Kakashi pointed to Sasuke, "If he kissed you once, will he kiss you again?"

Naruto, for once, was speechless.

Sasuke was still twitching.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura said, "What brought on all this?"

"Nothing brought it on, man, give me a break." Kakashi replied. "Oh!"

Kakashi pranced over to his rad 8-track player and put in the Jackson Five.

'ABC' started playing.

"_A B C…it's easy as 1 2 3…" _

Sasuke's whole body twitched.

"Kakashi-sensei! Why are you acting so weird?!" Naruto demanded.

"The next stop is the Twilight Zone!" Kakashi replied.

"Wha…"

"What a spicy meatball…"

"Kakashi-sensei…"

"Ain't no great shakes!"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto yelled.

"Stifle yourself!" Kakashi said back.

Naruto sighed in defeat.

...Maybe Kakashi-sensei was high today.

Sasuke was twitching on the floor.

"Groovy!" Kakashi said as he tried to copy Sasuke.

Sasuke twitched away from Kakashi.

Kakashi twitched towards Sasuke.

This process repeated itself for a while, as Naruto and Sakura watched, scared.

Kakashi got up off the floor. Sasuke had beaten him in the twitching contest.

He nodded his head in approval, "Far out, man."

"Let's dance!" Kakashi exclaimed to Sakura and Naruto, who shook their heads quickly.

"C'mon!" he persisted. He tore off his shirt and jumped on the table, "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"

Kakashi started to dance wildly to 'ABC'.

"You know what…" Naruto said.

"We're just gonna leave…" Sakura added in, as the two backed up.

Kakashi nodded, "Groovy."

He walked up to Naruto and gave him a high five, "Hang ten."

Naruto was out of the room so fast you couldn't see him leave.

Kakashi moved to Sakura. She stared at him like he was going to kill her.

Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder, "May the force be with you."

Sakura nodded slowly, and then bolted out of the room.

Kakashi smiled as he went over to Sasuke and kicked him forcefully out the door, "Good night, John-boy!" he said happily.

As Sasuke was flying through the air, he twitched again.

* * *

**Review, please? **


	5. Hinata Portal

**We do not own Naruto or portal, but we do own our documentary, on how video games changed Keith's life! (1)**

**Team Kurenai decided that they would take turns borrowing the game "Portal™," but they were in for a big surprise…**

* * *

Hinata picked up her controller, not knowing that doing so would cost her sanity.

Upon making the first portal in a wall, she realized that it wasn't the character going through it, but her!

"AHHHH!" Hinata screamed as she twirled, falling through a dark void.

* * *

She finally landed on a classroom table.

"Get out!" a girl with blue hair yelled.

Hinata looked around, and saw that all of the males in the room were being chased out.

The blue-haired girl shut the door, and turned around.

She sighed, "Suzumiya-san, shouldn't you wait until everyone else leaves?"

Hinata looked over to said "Suzumiya-san", only to realize that she was _undressing!_

"EEP!" Hinata blushed and tried to run out of the room, "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY—"

She slammed into a wall.

'Suzumiya-san', walked over to her, "Hey, you're pretty cute! A moe character! Are you an alien, time traveler or esper?!"

"Eep!"

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, leader of the SOS brigade!" Haruhi tackled Hinata in a hug, "Want to join our club?!"

"Uh-uh-uh…please, put y-your clothes on!" Hinata stuttered.

"Oh," Haruhi said, realizing she was topless, "Okay. But now Mikuru will have some competition, you cute little strange girl, you!"

"Eep!"

* * *

"Another one?" a male asked, "You know, Suzumiya, you can't go kidnapping people all the time!"

"Shut up, Kyon," Haruhi replied, "she's super cute! We need her in our club!"

"Eep!"

"Stop 'eeping'," Haruhi said to Hinata.

Hinata nodded and looked around the room. The one named 'Kyon' was staring at Haruhi in disbelief. She also saw an orange-haired girl playing Othello with a brown-haired male. In the corner of the room was a purple-haired girl, reading a book at a fast pace.

"Where did you come from?" Kyon asked, "I haven't seen you around school before."

Hinata blushed a dark shade of red, "Uh-uh…um…the………………………………….sky?"

Haruhi's eyes widened, "So you ARE a time traveler! How's George Jetson doing?!"

"G-George? No…um, I'm actually from a village called Konoha, b-but…I don't know how I got here…"

"What do you do in Konoha?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm a ninja…" Hinata replied.

"Yeah…right…um, I'm looking for strange people…but not WEIRD! You're a "ninja"…wow, just wow. Get out of this clubroom!"

"Suzumiya, don't be rude. I'm sure you'd like to see her in one of your costumes, right?" Kyon asked (but only because he really wanted to see it too).

Haruhi's eyes lit up, "Yes…yes…oh my god, YES! BUNNY COSTUME!"

"EEP!"

The orange-haired girl stood up, "S-Suzumiya-san…don't! Take me! Leave the innocent one alone!"

"Shut up, Mikuru! We all know that you only want to get dressed up in those costumes so you can shout 'Nooo!' super dramatically, and get Kyon to 'protect you'. Give it a rest! He's mine!"** (2)**

"Since when?!" Kyon demanded.

"…remember that time you woke up feeling really drowsy…and you found girly underwear on the floor?"

Kyon's eyes widened.

Haruhi smiled, "Yeah…good times…anyways, BUNNY COSTUME!"

The brown-haired male stood up, "Kyon…I can't believe you'd…with Haruhi…I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!" He dashed from the room.

Kyon's eye twitched.

The purple-haired girl turned a page in her book.

Mikuru sat back down in her chair, cowering and whimpering.

"PUT THIS ON!" Haruhi yelled.

Hinata ran into a wall, and was relieved to find out…

IT WAS A PORTAL!

"YES, I'M SAVED!" She ran through it.

Haruhi, with bunny costume still in hand, looked disappointed…until she turned around.

"Hey, Mikuru…"

"EEP!"

The purple-haired girl turned another page.

* * *

**(1) Do us a favor and go to youtube. Type in: How Video Games Changed My Life, and watch it! Thanks :)**

**(2) WE LOVE MIKURU! We don't hate her!**

**We hope you liked this chapter! R&R !**


	6. Kiba Portal

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Team Kurenai decided that they would take turns borrowing the game "Portal™," but they were in for a big surprise…

* * *

Kiba was psyched. Portal was one of his favourite games!

However, when he found that HE was going through one of the portals, and not his character…

He was utterly terrified.

* * *

"AHHHHHH!" he screamed as he fell.

He landed on a couch…an expensive looking couch.

"What the—"

"Oh, Tamaki-kun!" a girl yelled, "Why are you so lovely?"

"Because, my dear," a blonde-haired male replied, "god sometimes makes beings such as I…who are lovely inside and out!"

The mob of girls around him let out a fan girl squeal.

Kiba was confused…why were there so many girls—

Wait.

So.

Many.

GIRLS!

"_This is awesome!" _Kiba thought.

It was at this time that a brown-haired…..Boy? Noticed him on the couch.

"Hey," 'he' said, "who are you?"

"Kiba…Inuzuka."

The boy looked confused, "I haven't seen you around here before…are you a friend of one of the hosts?"

"Hosts?" Kiba asked.

"Uh…" two orange-haired males said in exact unison, "you have some major fashion problems."

"Problems? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CLOTHES?!"

The male on the right shook his head, "It's a shame,"

"It really is." the one on the left agreed.

"Tono!" they called to the blonde-haired male.

Blondie came over to Kiba.

"Yes, what is it—oh! What are you _wearing_?!" he demanded.

Kiba sighed, "Why, are my clothes really that awful?"

"YES!" the two orange-haired males, who appeared to be twins, said in unison.

"I think he's cute!" a very short blonde male said.

"Yeah," the tall male behind him agreed.

A male with glasses walked over. He smirked, "Perhaps we should turn him into a host. We could make some money off of this one…"

"WHAT'S A HOST?!" Kiba yelled.

The brown-haired boy smiled, "Wow."

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club!" the rest of the males said in unison.

"Basically, we entertain rich girls to make them happy." the twins said.

"I'm _in_!" Kiba exclaimed.

* * *

Blondie, who had introduced himself as 'Tamaki', nodded his head in approval, "Yes. After removing that disgusting red face paint, he doesn't seem that bad looking! And straightening his hair helped too!"

"Ugh…" Kiba looked at himself in the mirror, "I look completely different…"

The guy with glasses, who Kiba now knew as 'Kyouya' smirked, "You know, that Ouran uniform will be added to your debt."

The 'boy' (who Kiba found out was actually a girl) started laughing hysterically.

"My debt…?"

"That's right!" the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, said, "You'll have to pay it off by hosting!"

"You look so cute! Right, Takashi?" Honey said.

The one named 'Takashi' nodded, "Yeah."

"Let's go!" the twins said.

"HELL YEAH!" Kiba yelled, "LADIES, HERE I COME!"

As Kiba started to walk out of the changing room, he…slipped on banana peel.

Kiba groaned, "You know…the only reason I believe that actually just happened is because it was on Mythbusters."

"What…" everyone else said.

Kiba shook his head, "Never mind. Let's go."

He took one step forward and…

…

…

…

…

…

Fell into a portal!

"Nooooo!" he yelled, "ladiesssssss!"

* * *

Kyouya turned to Haruhi, "…his uniform will be added to your debt."

Haruhi screamed in anger.

And then Tamaki totally made out with her.

…

It was awesome.

* * *

**Man, it's a shame they didn't make out yet. Bisco Hatori better make them make out…SOON!**

**R&R!**


	7. Shino Portal

**Team Kurenai decided that they would take turns borrowing the game "Portal™," but they were in for a big surprise…**

* * *

Shino hesitantly picked up his controller and eyes it suspiciously.

"Mr. Bugglesworth…" he said, "do you think I should play it?"

Mr. Bugglesworth merely shrugged, "Rrrro rrrror rrrrrrit!" (go for it)

Shino pushed up his glasses so that the little anime glare thingy on them would go away, "Here we go."

Shino turned on the system. The beginning screen came up.

* * *

_**Some time later…**_

Shino made his first portal in some random wall, and went up to it. As soon as he attempted to go through, he realized he wasn't going through to the other portal.

Shino fell into nothingness. Everything was black, white and sometimes a shade of orange. He closed his eyes and waited for impact.

When he landed, he was on a stone bench. He pushed up his glasses up and looked around. He realized he was in Konoha.

Shino crossed his arms, "That's right."

* * *

**Shino's so cool, he's not going anywhere! ^^**


	8. Kurenai Portal

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Disclaimer: No, we don't own Naruto…but we DO own…..Jack the tissue box and a stuffed NOIL plushie ^^

**Team Kurenai decided that they would take turns borrowing the game "Portal™," but they were in for a big surprise…**

* * *

Kurenai could not believe she was actually going to play a video game.

But hey, it'd kill some time.

As she was entering her first portal…she was surprised to find out that SHE actually WAS going through the portal.

"OH, SNAP!" she yelled as she fell.

* * *

Kurenai fell on what appeared to be pavement. She was surprised she was still alive. It was then that she heard…singing?

"Come join the Warner Brothers,"

"AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT!"

"Just for fun we—"

"Who are you?" Kurenai asked.

Three strange dog/cat thingy's stopped to stare at her. The 'Warner Sister Dot' appeared to be furious.

"You ruined it!" she yelled, "Our song!"

Kurenai looked each of the things over. One of them was tall and wore brown pants. The other male wore a red hat backwards and a blue sweater. The one that had just yelled at her wore a very cute pink dress.

"Just once!" the girl continued to scream, "why can't people just let us sing?!"

Kurenai stared at her, "Who are you?"

The girl sighed.

The two males came forward, "We're the Warner Brothers! Yakko and Wakko!"

The one named 'Wakko' noticed Kurenai's outfit was short.

"Hello-oo-oo Nurse!" he said.

The girl sighed again, "And the Warner Sister. Dot."

Kurenai ignored her, "I'm not a nurse…I'm a ninja!"

Wakko looked at her, "………………Hello-oo-oo ninja Nurse!"

Dot, ignoring the fact that Kurenai ignored her, stared at her stomach, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

Kurenai nodded with a 'that's not very important look on her face', "Yeah, I am."

The one named 'Yakko' frowned, "Aww, does that mean you're taken?"

Kurenai's eye twitched as Wakko played the drums that appeared out of no where.

"Okay…Now WHERE ARE WE?!"

Dot smiled, "We're on the Warner Movie Lot. We were going to run around here just for fun…but you INTERRUPTED OUR SONG!"

Kurenai backed away, "Whoa, I'm sorry." (Though, she was not sorry at all).

Wakko looked REALLY peeved, "Hey, we read that thought bubble!"

Kurenai looked to her side to see her thoughts on how she wasn't sorry, floating in a bubble.

"That's it," she sighed, "I've gotta get out of here before I lose any more of my sanity—"

The dog/cat things began charging at her like a herd of buffalos. She turned around and used her chakra to jump up onto a building and out of their path. As she looked to her right, she noticed a portal.

"YES!" she jumped into it.

Yakko and Wakko looked sad, "Good bye, nurse."

Dot sighed, "Boys…"

* * *

**R&R**


	9. Shikamaru the Ostrich

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Disclaimer- We don't own small rocks, sand, clams or Naruto. But we DO own the blade of grass next to our random Llama, Casey the Llama.

**starfire66- I'm a co-author of this story by the way. I know we're weird, but bear with us. **

**Please also bear with Temari's language…sorry…**

**Sorry for the…like, year wait for this chapter.**

* * *

Shikamaru was, like, waking up and stuff, when he realized something was different than usual. He felt a sudden craving for small rocks, sand and clams. He also realized that he was having trouble getting out of bed, even for him. When he went to move his arms, he realized he was realizing too much, and then he noticed he had wings.

"TEMARI!" he yelled, he sounded like a dying weasel (TAKE _THAT _ITACHI!).

The 26-year-old appeared in the doorway, "What's _wrong_?!" she yelled at him until her gaze fell on his arms…"HOLY SHIT!!! WHY THE HELL ARE YOUR ARMS… WINGS?!?!"

Shikamaru put the end of his wing on his forehead in angst, "I _don't _know…"

The 23 year old jounin swung his legs over the side of the bed, and realized there was an even bigger problem…he was…

"OH MY GOD! I'M A F**KING OSTRICH!"

(Shikamaru is so awesome; he has the ability to bleep out his speech.)

Temari's eyes widened and she passed out on the floor.

"Temari!" Shikamaru went to help his wife, and he _could_ walk…but it was awkward. Yes, let's leave it at that.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight…" Chouji clasped his hands together, "You're…an ostrich?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, which he still had, because for some reason his head was not ostrichified, "Yes…I would appear to be an ostrich…"

"I see…Aren't you going to see a doctor or something…? I mean, this isn't exactly normal…or is it…?"

Shikamaru sighed, "I'll just go see Tsunade…"

* * *

"So, let me get this straight…" Tsunade said, taking a sip of her sake, "You're…an ostrich?"

Shikamaru was scared. Déjà vu much? "Yes…I would appear to be an ostrich…"

"Well, we need to figure out what to do about that…Do you have any ideas?"

Shikamaru sweat dropped, "Of course I don't. Why else would I come to you?"

Tsunade sniffed, "'Cause…'cause you just wanted to say "hey, what's up"?!"

Shikamaru did the ostrich strut out of the room, "I should've just stayed in bed…that always fixes any problems I have…"

* * *

Shikamaru, for some reason, thought it would be a good idea to go see Kakashi about this predicament.

"So, let me get this straight—"

"YES, I'M AN OSTRICH, OKAY?! I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME BECAUSE…I'M AN OSTRICH!"

Kakashi sighed, "There is no need for shouting. I have a weak bladder. Now, I think I have something that might help you."

Shikamaru slowly nodded, afraid of Kakashi's odd statement.

Kakashi went over to his book shelf and, pushing all volumes of Icha Icha Paradise aside, found a short novel.

"Here," he handed it to Shikamaru, "this always helps me when I'm feeling down!"

Shikamaru looked at the novel that he somehow held in his wing, "So…"Ostriches For Dummies"…?! HOW DOES THAT HELP YOU WHEN YOU'RE FEELING DOWN?!"

"SILENCE! THIS IS _MY_ COURT ROOM, MY RULES!"

"…what?"

"EXACTLY!" Kakashi yelled.

"But now you're the one who's yelling—oh, crap. NOT ON THE FLOOR, SHIKAMARU! YOU PROMISED YOURSELF! NO!"

Kakashi glared at Shikamaru, "Let's see if ostriches can fly…" He picked up Shikamaru and threw him out the window.

"AHHHHH!" he yelled.

Kakashi smiled, "Good night, John-boy!"

"WHAT?!?!"

* * *

Shikamaru had no choice left…his only option was to go to…**the witch woman.** As this thought went through his head evil music played as lightning flashed behind him. He began his quest to the top of Mt. Konoha where she resided.

"I'm off to see the wizard—I mean, witch!" Shikamaru sang as he skipped along. Finally reaching Mt. Konoha (which took under 5 minutes…) he continued to sing the ENTIRE way up the mountain.

"I'm off to see the wizard—I mean witch! The wonderful wiz—witch! Of Oz!"

* * *

Ostrich-strutting slowly up to the door, he pushed it open, covering his eyes with his…wings.

Upon seeing the witch woman he attempted to snap his fingers…with no success, "Knew it."

Ino glared at Shikamaru, wearing the most stupid witch costume ever, "SHUT UP! OSTRICH-FACE!"

"Well technically….my head wasn't ostrichified—"

"WANT IT TO BE?!?!" Ino screamed in his face.

Shikamaru whined, "NO! JUST DE-OSTRICHIFY ME!"

Ino yelled, "NO!"

Shikamaru sighed, knowing only one thing would make her crack, "If you fix me…I'll get you a date with Sasuke from NSync!"

"Wasn't he kicked out—"

"NEVERMIND! I'll get you a date with NSync."

Ino slowly smiled. "Okay."

"CHANGE MEH BACK, WOMAN!" said Shikamaru, suddenly wearing an eye-patch.

Ino waved her little magic wand.

In less than .5 of a second, Shikamaru was back to normal.

"MUAHAHAHAHHAHA! I'M FREE! FREE FROM ROCKS, SAND, AND CLAMS!"

He ran away, laughing manically.

"…I'm not getting that date, am I?"

* * *

**R&R**


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